Poem I wrote for some uni work

 

Lockdown-An Experience

Where’s my friend self-advocacy?

Hiding underneath my skin

Couldn’t come out in arguments

Trapped like a caterpillar in a chrysalis.

My other friend confidence

Died down like fire with it’s embers licking the coals in a fireplace.

Where’s that spark of self-esteem?

It’s been flushed down the toilet.

 

 

I’m trapped in a web of lies

People talk when you’re not in their presence.

The negativity comes out like a criminal that’s out to get you

The angel on my right shoulder is corrupted.

My guardian angel has turned into a beast

Bombing me with the cold hard truths about myself.

Shouldn’t they be positive?

 

Nah.

The truth always hurts

It cuts deep like a knife that’s been twisted in your gut

When you know that people have judged your character harshly

They shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover.

They need to read between the lines.

 

In corona there’s always fights

Lockdown shouldn’t be the word they use.

It should be

Lockup if your voice is being locked away

And the key is thrown away.

 

Trust has been betrayed

Why should I let those people back in?

If I get hurt again

If my heart gets broken again

Maybe I’m too sensitive

Is that a bad thing?

Nah

Crying helps you to let out all the pain in your body.

Whether you do it privately or not.

Okay

 

 

Corona makes people blind to who they are

It makes them take their frustrations out on you

I’ve disappointed a few people

Had pre-teen attitude thrown at me

Been through hell and back cuz of people’s words.

It doesn’t matter.

 

I’m still trapped inside my head

All these dark thoughts hold me hostage

Like Lockdown holds you hostage in your house.

There’s only one or two people in my corner

I try to stand my ground

But I’m crumbling since my confidence has been thrown out the window

All these useless tears

What are they gonna accomplish?

Nothing

 

That’s the best part of corona

We can do nothing or go anywhere

I’m told to grow up

I’m told to be quiet

I don’t think I can

I’m still trying to move on from people’s criticism

Sick and tired of being shut down

I wanna be remembered for saying something great, instead of being a person people pass in the hallways of the house

I thought you had to be

Loud

Proud

Strong

 

There’s nothing wrong about not caring about make-up

Or skincare

Is there?

I thought you had to be

Confident

Have high self-esteem

I thought you had to

‘Walk the walk’

I thought you had to

‘Talk the talk’

These are all valid.

 

But…

To some people I know they’re not on the list

It’s about fitting in instead of standing out

It’s about making yourself so perfect, until you fit into a mould/clique of perfection

It’s about losing your character

It’s about losing yourself

So you can dance with the devil.

It’s about being tough

What’s the point if you don’t care about others?

What’s the point if you’re not bothered with what I have to say?

I think everyone including myself matters

Why don’t you?

YOU is the people I know in life.

 

Hi this is a poem that was written for uni but I had to cut loads of it out to fit a brief and I think it just shows some of the struggles some people go through in Corona with criticisms that they get from the people who care about them but have a funny way of showing it. Also it's a way to move on from experiences that might have made your confidence get thrown out the window and this piece will allow you to get it back. Also i've just taken something personal and maybe generalised it down to a poem about my experiences in Lockdown,  These are some of the things that not a lot of people think about so you guys can read this and stew and chew on your experiences during a terrible time such as corona. 

Thanks and Much Love

Nabilah