MAKING AMENDS WITH A PERSON

 'NEW YEAR NEW YOU' WHAT A CRAZY IDEA YOU CAN BE THE SAME PERSON EVEN IF YOU'VE CHANGED SLIGHTLY SINCE LAST YEAR. SOMETIMES WE MIGHT NOT ALWAYS CHANGE IN A POSITIVE WAY SINCE WE HAVE THE GHOSTS OF HARSH WORDS IN THE MAZES OF OUR MIND'S EYE AND IT HAUNTS US UNTIL WE CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT CUZ WE'VE OPENED THE DARK DRAWERS OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED A LONG TIME AGO. WELL NEWSFLASH SOME OF THE TIME WORDS CAN HURT THEY CAN CUT DEEP LIKE KNIVES OR HIT YOU SQUARE IN THE CHEST LIKE BULLETS HITTING A TARGET. WE HANG ON TO THEM TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER OR NOT WE'RE GREAT REVOLUTIONARIES IN LIFE BUT EVERYONE'S HUMAN AND YOU CAN BREAK APART INTO A MILLION SHARDS OF GLASS A FEW TIMES IN LIFE IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU BECOME THE BIGGER PERSON AND PICK THOSE PIECES UP AND GLUE THEM BACK TOGETHER UNTIL YOU'RE A STRONGER VERSION OF YOURSELF. JUST REMEMBER IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT IF SOMEONE DOESN'T ACCEPT YOU'RE TRYING TO MOVE ON AND MAKE AMENDS SO YOU CAN BE CIVIL TOWARDS EACH OTHER AND IT MIGHT NOT WORK OUT AS I'VE DISCOVERED. ANYWAY I'VE RAMBLED ENOUGH RIGHT NOW SO GRAB THOSE FLUFFY BLANKETS AND COMFY PILLOWS AND SIT BACK AND RELAX AND GRAB SOME MINI RITZ CRACKERS AND LISTEN LOUD AND CRYSTAL CLEAR 'DON'T GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT IF SOMEONE ISN'T ON YOUR LEVEL AND THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE IMPACT THAT THEIR WORDS HAD ON YOU AND IF THEY DON'T WANNA HEAR WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY EVEN IF YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ISN'T EVEN IN THE WRONG JUST SUCK IT UP AND LEAVE THEM ALONE IF THEY'RE NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT YOUR ATTEMPT AT MAKING AMENDS WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE' OKAY THAT WAS SOME DEEP ADVICE BUT Y'ALL NEED TO REALISE YOU HAVE TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON AND PUT YOUR EMOTIONS ON THE LINE AFTER YOU'VE BEEN CRUSHED MULTIPLE TIMES YOU HAVE TO PUSH THROUGH ALL THAT PAIN TO APPEAR NORMAL EVEN IF INTERNALISING IT IS DANGEROUS FOR YOU UNTIL YOU CAN FIND THE WORDS TO MAKE AMENDS WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSE TO YOU EVEN IF YOU'VE BUILT YOUR WALLS AROUND YOU AS HIGH AS THE SKY YOU DESERVE TO BE ABLE TO SCREAM ALL YOUR FEELINGS OUT UNTIL THE GROUND IS SHAKING VIOLENTLY. BUT SOMETIMES YOU'LL GET TURNED DOWN AND IT'S OKAY CUZ YOU'LL KNOW WHERE YOU STAND WITH A PERSON WHO HAS HURT YOU. OKAY I'VE RAMBLED ON FOR AGES NOW I'M GONNA LAY DOWN SOME MORE AWE-INSPIRING ADVICE SO GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE PAIR OF PJS AND SIT BACK AND RELAX AND GRAB SOME MINI CHEDDARS AND LISTEN LOUD AND CRYSTAL CLEAR 'DON'T BACK DOWN IF YOU GET CONTRADICTED BY A PERSON WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE AMENDS AND THEY TELL YOU NOTHING HAPPENED YOU'VE GOTTA COMBAT THAT WITH YOUR 0 TOLERANCE FOR BULLSHIT METER AND TELL THEM YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY EVEN IF THEY DON'T BELIEVE YOU BUT ONLY AFTER YOU'VE SAID YOUR PIECE AND YOU'VE REALISED YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME TRYING TO PLEASE A PERSON WHO'S ALWAYS GONNA SEE YOU AS A DISAPPOINTMENT THEN STOP TRYING TO MAKE AMENDS WITH THEM IF THEY CAN'T GIVE YOU THE TIME TO MAKE AN EXPLANATION FOR HOW YOU'VE BEEN AFFECTED BY A SITUATION THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO HARD TO GET APPROVAL FROM A PERSON WHO WON'T GIVE IT TO YOU?'  OOH THIS WAS A MOUNTAINFUL OF ADVICE BUT IF YOU'VE BEEN IN A SIMILAR SITUATION TO ME YOU'LL GET IT.  PUTTING ALL YOUR FRAGILE EGOS AND EMOTIONS ON THE LINE WHILE YOU'RE TRYING TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO APOLOGISE EVEN IF YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY IT IS THE GREATEST STEP YOU CAN TAKE TOWARDS HEALING YOURSELF BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY EVEN IF IT'S HARD NOT TO FEED INTO ALL THE BULLSHIT THAT PEOPLE GIVE YOU WITH THEIR SHITTY EXCUSES AND THEIR FLIPPANT BRUSHINGS OFF THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM THAT'S NAMED DRAMA WITH A CAPITAL D. YES YOU'RE MENTALLY DRAINED AND YOU'RE PROBABLY BANGING YOUR HEAD AGAINST A TABLE OR WALL BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT TAKING THE FIRST STEP TO RECOGNISE THAT YOU'RE THE PERSON WHO'S BEEN HIT WITH THE RED HOT POKER OF PAIN SO YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE FEELING SO DOWN IN THE DUMPS EVEN IF IT DOESN'T REGISTER IN SOMEONE'S THICK SKULL CUZ THEY'RE TOO STUBBORN TO BACK DOWN AND ACCEPT THAT THEY'RE IN A POSITION THAT IS WRONG AND THEY'RE USING A TWISTED VERSION OF THE TRUTH TO GET YOU TO BACK OFF AND THAT'S A HUGE NO-NO. OKAY I'VE RANTED ON FOR A WHILE SO IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GIVE Y'ALL SOME AMAZING JAW-DROPPING WORDS OF ADVICE SO GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE PIECES OF LOUNGEWEAR OR TRACKSUIT AND SIT BACK AND RELAX AGAINST THOSE FLUFFY BLANKETS AND PILLOWS AND GRAB SOME CHEESE TOASTIES WITH SIROTCHA ON IT AND LISTEN LOUD AND CRYSTAL CLEAR 'BETRAYAL CAN BE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE AND IT MIGHT FEEL LIKE SOMEONE'S PUNCHED YOU IN THE CHEST AND RIPPED YOUR DARKENED SOUL OUT AND SHREDDED YOUR HEART INTO A THOUSAND SHARDS OF GLASS. MAKING AMENDS WITH A PERSON SHOULD MEND ALL THAT RIGHT? YES AND NO CUZ SOME PEOPLE NEED TO BE YOUR RIDE OR DIE AND OTHER PEOPLE WILL BE HOT ON YOUR TAIL AND HARD ON YOU BUT YOU HAVE TO FIND THAT FIRE INSIDE OF YOUR VEINS AND FIGHT BACK AND TELL THEM I AM WHO I AM AND I AINT CHANGING I'M PROUD OF BEING ME AND WHEN YOU'RE MAKING AMENDS WITH THAT PERSON YOU GOTTA REMIND YOURSELF YOU'RE A LEGEND AND YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND FIGHT UNTIL YOU'VE GOT YOUR POINT ACROSS IN THE MOST NICEST WAY POSSIBLE BUT IF SOMEONE DOESN'T LISTEN THEN YOU GOTTA GET THE BIG GUNS OUT AND GO ALL SAVAGE MODE UNTIL YOU'VE GOTTEN EVERY LAST WORD OFF YOUR CHEST' OOH THIS WAS A HUGE HEAVY BIT OF ADVICE BUT IT'S KINDA TRUE YOU SHOULDN'T BACK DOWN IF YOU GET INTIMIDATED YOU NEED TO REACH INSIDE OF YOURSELF AND FIND THAT SAVAGE BEAST AND BE ABLE TO EXERT YOUR DOMINANCE AND CONFIDENCE UNTIL THE OTHER PERSON RELENTS AND LETS YOU HAVE THE LAST WORD. IT'S NOT OKAY TO LEAVE THINGS UNSAID IF THE PERSON ISN'T BOTHERED TO HEAR YOU OUT UNTIL YOU REACH A MIDDLE GROUND AND LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU JUST WANT SOMEONE TO COME TO YOU AND TELL YOU STUFF TO YOUR FACE SO SHIT DOESN'T HIT THE FAN LATER ON. OKAY I'M DONE VENTING TO YOU GUYS ABOUT THIS NOW. SO SOME THINGS FOR YOU TO CHEW ON ARE HOW CAN I BE MORE CONFIDENT AND BALLSY SO I CAN CONFRONT PEOPLE WHO BRING OUT THOSE NEGATIVE VIBES IN ME WHEN I'M TRYING TO PURSUE SOME POSITIVITY IN LIFE AFTER 2-3 MONTHS OF THINKING I'M A VILLAINESS IN SOMEONE'S STORYLINE? 

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