GETTING ATTITUDE AND BEING TOLD YOU'RE HAVING THE LAST WORD

 Hey awesome people, 

Being an adult in the Asian Diaspora is both easy and frustrating if you've got a whole cocktail of difference in terms of the superpower called disability. Even when you're talking about food being a snack or a category of food and getting given the clapback of attitude that gives your confidence a nosedive into a crashing sea of despair. Being able to have the upper hand in a situation like that where a person doesn't let your torrent of words be heard or listen to you when you're the adult in the situation makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable in the presence of that person who keeps telling you that you like to have the last word in a situation. It raises the flames of red-hot anger and fans the flames of splintering annoyance. You need to realise one thing that you're the adult in the situation, not the kid. Even when you're being told you're being rude for shouting at your female parental when you're not even trying to be rude when you've just woken up from your bed. You were just letting the person know that you were awake and waiting to use the loo. 

You have to know you're hearing the warning bells of caution and be extremely careful when you're around the person who's giving you attitude when you've been nothing but nice to them for a week. You can't voice your opinions and ideas freely otherwise you'll be sinking in the quicksand of trouble. You're digging the treacherous trench of trouble and you'll get no where except only go round in circles until they walk away without acknowledging the wave of hurt and the whirlpool of unease and anxiety that roll over your skin and run through your veins when you've stumbled upon a roadblock of your words falling on deaf ears. It's not about communication, it's more about articulating your thoughts and how you execute your confidence with pride and wield it like a weapon of strength. You can't waste the precious goldmine of energy arguing your point across if it's not sinking in when a person gets all moody and walks off into the upstairs portion of your household. 

It's more about the chilling waterfall of sadness that washes over you at the blatant disrespect and the regard that you're too different that you don't feel normal and comfortable in your own skin in your home turf. You feel like a class A freak cuz you don't know how to navigate a situation where you are flailing around to the point where you're losing your life-raft of high self esteem and the confidence that reaches teh clouds like the highest skyscraper in the world. I'm talking Burj Khalifa vibes. Anyway, it's like hitting the rocky roads of crossing an uncrossable line when you're being told off like a kid who stole an item in a shop when the person is 11-18 years old and you're 26 years old.  It makes you feel so weirded out cuz you know that the level of self-respect and self-assurance you have gets flushed down the drain when you've worked so hard to come out on top and be who you are and who you're meant to be. 

OMG. I rambled on for too long yet again. I'll give y'all some awesome advice that will change your world. Sit back and relax against those fluffy pillows and quilted blankets that keep your warm and cosy. Slide into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/Kaftans/hoodies and joggers/T-shirts and jeans/Designer suits. Grab some Transform A Snack crisps to munch on and listen loud and crystal clear: 

'Speak to a trusted person who you like. One who will have your back to matter what. Speak up about the fact that you don't like ruckus. Also don't dwell on the pain and terrible feeling of unworthiness that you felt in the situation where you and your opinion wasn't heard/taken into consideration. It's about that spark of brightness that you had and when you're like 'this is why I don't chat and just watch my shows.' It should warn the person to back off. When they don't then that will make you fume on another level. Just hang in there and be cool as a cucumber even when you're not.' 

Some mad advice if I do say so. You're probably made to look like a fool in front of the Gen Z person when you're a millennial or boomer, you should be able to shout your ideas and opinions to the moon and back in your own environment not get in boatloads of issues that keep you up to your eyeballs in mud and grime from getting into it with another human being who thinks you're stickier than chewing gum sticking to a surface. Maybe you're the monster or some type of kryptonite in their picture perfect pocket of the world? Hell to the mother-loving no, nobodies' world is perfect we're all up against something that's out to get us in this life. You just have to get out of your own head and figure out how the heck you're supposed to navigate the minefield of eggshells it takes to be as normal as you can be around a person when they think you're a horrible excuse of a human when you're a beautiful caring and kind individual person who has some unique quirks. 

I'm gonna stop rambling and chewing your ears off with my long paragraphs of words. I'm gonna hit you with another wave length of my words of wisdom that will leave you gobsmacked. Sit back and relax against those fluffy pillows and fluffy throw blankets. Slide into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/Kaftans/hoodies and joggers/t-shirts and shorts. Grab some chocolate cake that melts in the mouth to gobble. Listen loud and crystal clear: 

'It's about trying to find a level playing field and using tactics to be able to regain the upper hand and be able to utilise that smart complicated maze that is called the human brain. Make it abundantly clear that you don't wanna engage in that kind of conflict and when the attitude is getting to much you have to put your metaphorical foot down and have the last word as you are the adult and you should demand respect above all else even if that person doesn't respond well to an authority figure since they're going through their own shit that is hitting the fan, you can be understanding as well as firm and strongly believe in without having anyone else in the room/space gang up on you and take the young'uns side over yours.'

OY OY OY1 A mouthful of advice to take in and let it sink in well so it can be well understood in this topic that we're speaking about in this space here. It's about knowing that person is good, but everyone has cracks and flaws and reaches a point where there's a limit and you have to be straight up with a person and tell it how it is when it gets too much and you're not sure how to make a situation better and you're sitting there spiralling cuz you're making it worse by getting fed up by a person running their mouth and having some type of superiority over you when you're the one who should be superior since you're an adult. The one doing the telling and the talking should be you and they should be listening to you no matter how dumb you sound. 

I'm gonna stop going on a rambling spree and give y'all some mad mind-altering advice that will tilt your world on it's axis. Sit back and relax against those fluffy pillows and get comfy in those quilted blankets that get all the warmth seeping back into your body. Slide into your favourite TV show/Movie merch. Grab a packet of Wotsits to devour and listen loud and crystal clear:

'Have a backbone to lean on and don't back down from another person's rude attempt to disarm you and take advantage of your niceness just cuz you wanna keep the peace in your environment when they're simply using it as a rest stop or hotel for like a week tops. Use your words instead of backing down and crawling back into your shell of protective armour when you should be able to let your guard down in your house that is your safe space.' 

Some short, but eye-opening advice that one should take in stride/on board. It's about being able to figure out the fine line between banter and serious moments where there's a need for decent polite communication and viewing yourself as being able to have the right amount of muchness, which will allow you to stick to your guns and be able to navigate a situation with  clear and wide open mind to bridge the gap between the dark chasm of oblivion that is standing between you and another human that is messing with your ability to connect with them on another level. It's about maneuvering the chessboard of expectation to your favour and nipping attitude in the bud by checkmating the other person with your words of wisdom and teaching life lessons they'll dislike, but learn great lessons from in the end once you've come out unscathed from the verbal warzone you've left in your wake. 

OK, I've rambled on for time. I'll leave you with one last piece of advice for you to chew on. Grab those comfy office chairs to take a seat in. Slide into your favourite pair of chucks, trainers, crocs, fluffy slippers/fluffy socks. Grab some gooey chocolate cake to chow down on. Listen loud and crystal clear:

'Choose your words carefully and be very aware of how you're dealing with the situation you've been stuck in. When you're shouting and thought as being rude when you're waiting for a person to exit a room. Know that you weren't exactly doing anything too crazy or stupid. You're a normal human being who's just trying to fit into a world that isn't really built for your freakishness, but you're trying ot fit into a mould that you don't need to, use your imperfections to change the world into a place where you're comfortable to realise you're a valued human not a kid mistaken in an adults body.'

Okay, I'll leave y'all to mull this over in those big complicated brains of yours. I'll leave you with a quote to end this long  post:

'The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.'- Oprah Winfrey. 

Enjoy.

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P.S This isn't about anyone specific. It's about the experience of the thing.