RETREATING INTO YOUR SANCTUARY FOR A BIT

 Hey crazy cat lovers, 

Are you a runner or needing some time to yourself to figure things out and get over a situation? It's not always about walking away and coming across as a rude unapproachable person, more about grounding yourself and being able to slowly build that tower of confidence that has somewhat crumbled brick by brick and building some of that armour back as a form of protection before you can restructure those bridges that got brunt and seek the responsibility of you or another person giving the olive branch of apology to each other later on when you've resolved the palm sweating/heart pounding tear streaking battlefield of conflict that you have to be calm in the face of lowering or keeping your defense up or down like a sword or maybe a fist. It's about taking that time to regulate and be OK even if you're still feeling the chest constricting panic that is sitting on your chest like a rock and won't leave, but you have the tools and techniques to make it disappear for a bit. It's about being able to chill in your own existence and be able to breathe easily without that stone weighing you down. 

Whoops. I rambled for ages there. I'll give y'all some awesome mind-blowing advice that'll get a standing ovation or something. Sit back and relax against those fluffy blankets and pillows. Slide into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/kaftans/hoodies and joggers/t-shirts and jeans. Grab some Ritz crackers to munch on and listen lou and crystal clear:

'Breathe deeply to expel all that bad energy that is making you take a deep splash in the whirlpool of crushing anxiety that takes away the brightness of your bubbly outgoing personality. Just sit there and write it all down and figure out how to 'get over it.' Being able to move past an issue is hard, but when you're in a safe space ideally your room where no one can follow you, you've gotta be able to have a good old private cry to sit under the waterfall of that saddening emotion that you have to keep under wraps, as they say let it all out.'

Yeesh. Some mad advice. It's about being able to reconnect with your inner persona and just be able to sit in the emotions that you keep under lock and key in the vault, or in that closed up emotional book crammed in the yellowed pages of old paper or book smell. When a person follows you in your private sanctuary A.K.A your room that's when the burning flame of frustration comes into play cuz they keep asking the questions you don't wanna answer when you wanna hide behind the ivy covered walls and just take a minute without talking it out. YES talking is freeing, getting a bunch of things off the chest is a way to release the tightly wound elastic band of emotion that we as humans cling to in order to be warriors of outer and inner strength, but we all need one person who gets you on another level without the cloak of judgement trailing behind them to just give you the space to rage or vent just by lending a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. 

Geez Louise! I passionately went on and on. I'll give y'all some earth-changing advice to digest. Sit back and relax against those pillows and blanket forts that you've created from your imagination turned into a fascination. Slide into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/kaftans/hoodies and joggers/t-shirts and shorts. Grab some Biscoff dessert to gobble. Listen loud and crystal clear:

'Assert yourself when you wanna take time to just be in your won space for a bit. Advocating for yourself is a big achievement if you think that you can't back yourself up in an argument where you don't have anyone in your corner. Visualising someone who gave you awesome advice that can't be in your environment because of moving to get better life experience might help you center yourself and enable you to suck it up and just move on quickly from a situation where you were told to 'calm down' cuz you were being too aggressive.'

Whoa. Some earth-shattering advice. It's more about being able to do things that take your mind off of the deep rooted vine of stress that has entangled itself in your mental maze that you're navigating on the daily to be normal or less of a different person, when you should be embracing that difference by celebrating it more often in your own way. Running off isn't a form of disrespect in the Asian Diaspora, it's about removing yourself from a situation to make a space more welcoming and accessible to you or another person who has left you feeling awkward or uncomfortable about your personality in that moment. When you're at an impasse of not knowing what to say or how to articulate your point you're gonna lash out cuz the prson is coming at you in a way where their words are flying in your face like a hurricane and you have no idea how to respond in that moment, just take a beat and say "I gotta go for a bit and I'll be back later to discuss the way I behaved or came across in the heat of the moment. "

Sheesh. I went on and on again, but I'll give y'all some awesome jaw-dropping advice. Sit back and relax against those comfy office chairs. Slide into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/kaftans/hoodies and joggers/t-shirts and jeans. Grab some sliders to munch on. Listen loud and crystal clear:

'Sometimes you can rant to yourself while imagining a person who was your day one, but isn't in your country so you can just remember how those deep talks were when they  told you things your photographic memory can hold on to forever. Being focused on mindfulness and drawing can be a huge distraction to the thing you're moving on from. Words are powerful and can be used as ammunition against you, so you have to be careful even if standing your ground can lead you to digging a trench of trouble from England to no man's land.'

OOH. Some awesome advice there. A little deep and getting into the deep rooted parts of the topic at hand. It's about sticking to the realm of inner peace and outer calm even if you're flipping a lid and lighting the fuse of your short tempered personality when you're not getting on the same page as someone's lecture or banter. Stepping aside or going to a place where you can keep yourself in check and balanced is not ignoring a person or being abrupt or horrible when you're just trying to understand why you got the wrong end of the stick. 

Some deep dipping your toe in the quicksand guidance to chew on. I'll give y'all one last golden nugget of advice. Sit back and relax against those pillows and blankets that are so fluffy and cozy. Slide into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/kaftans/hoodies and joggers/t-shirts and shorts. Grab some limited edition chocolate to gobble. Listen loud and crystal clear:

'It's okay to be overwhelmed about a thing, so you can leave a space and respond to a person's critique later on. It doesn't matter about not being on the same wavelength or level as their capabilities cuz everyone's at different paces in life. It's about finding ways to be in the calm before a big storm hits you. Be able to regulate yourself and knowing it's okay to have bigger complex emotions than another means you're figuring it all out one step at a time and knowing you're aware of yourself when it's getting too much.'

Some mad advice. I'm gonna leave you with a quote to add a final note. It goes along the lines of:

'To be yourself in a world that's constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Enjoy.

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