APOLOGIES

 Hey Outer Banks Fans,

Getting an apology is always great, but it depends on how you get apologised to. A person can be the bigger person and it's all fine and dandy, but my question to you fellow readers is what's the point if an apology is used to get over a situation quickly instead of being open/honest and sincere? My answer would be that there's no point. You have to feel deep understanding and care for the person who's saying sorry. Sorry is a huge word. It's a word that has to be turned into a huge deal, otherwise it's just non-existent. You NEED to feel like a person is putting real time and effort into making you feel better about yourself. You can be a strong independent person and still go toe to toe with a lot of different types of people that aren't your cup of tea, and it's not because they call you out on the complex parts of your outer persona that's a work in progress, it could be a number of things such as not seeing eye-to-eye on a single topic of conversation or discussion you have. Saying sorry is a no-brainer, but meaning it and feeling it from the bottom of your deep dark soul is another challenge that you can take on and conquer, and when you achieve that challenge you feel like you have the keys to the kingdom of moving on. You can receive an apology and you can feel so many different emotions to the point you're over analysing the words said to you, but if you don't think it's good enough then you should question that person. Lowering yourself to being a humble and improving yourself type of person will show that you've taken a person's words to heart and how you act upon them can show how much the weight of an apology can mean to you. Words are a powerful thing, once they're out there there's no taking them back. It doesn't matter whether you take it to a deeper level or be 'hearty' about it, it matters when you've been undermined and underestimated by a person who you thought could've been your hero, but now they're a person who is a villain in your storyline to success. You can take it as personally as you want until you're satisfied with how well you think a person has taken your feelings into consideration and apologised based on selfless gain, and it depends on how you can accept their words of shame and regret/remorse.

I'm gonna stop rambling now. I'll give you guys some advice and guidance that'll floor you and get the gears in those big brains of yours turning from 2nd to 4th gear. Sit back and relax against those fluffy cushions and grab those blankets to snuggle into. Slide into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/hoodies and sweatshirts and joggers/T-shirts and shorts. Grab a bag of M&M's to devour. Listen loud and crystal clear:

'You'll butt heads with one or two people in life, which'll make your confidence take a nosedive and snap you back down into the realm of reality. Words will fly between you like bullets or arrows to the heart. Don't entertain them unless in that whole paragraph about how much of a shitty/not good enough person you are, there's not an ounce of apology, be the bigger person and tell them you're sorry even if you're not entirely in the wrong cuz it shows respect and the initiative to show how far your 'work in progress' self has come even if your self esteem and personality has taken a battering. The bigger picture is all the pieces of jagged fragments of bits and pieces coming together to make this messy/imperfect piece of a sliver of what you'd call paradise. When a person tells you all this stuff about yourself that isn't likeable while sounding selfish and proud instead of meek and humble they've got the wrong idea of who you are/who you're meant to be, so why give them the benefit of the doubt when you've given them a billion chances to redeem themselves?'

SAY WHAT? That was a hell of a lot of advice that is so profound and meaningful, I'd lend a listening ear to it as well. There's this quote from a book I read on Wattpad about people saying stuff to you, which goes along the lines of:

'As long as you hold someone's attention, you hold a permanent space in somebody else's search bar.'

(Russian Roulette: Family Secrets.)

It's about stripping yourself from pride and ego to really see where you went wrong in a situation, even if you blurted out a cold-hard-truth giving fact about another person that doesn't sit right with that 3rd party outsider, then you can get on your knees and apologise no matter how desperate it makes you look when you're full of thought and opinion about a person. Being able to get over a situation and not bring it up again after doubting how great or accomplished you are as a person taking the time to make amends and apologise means you've bettered yourself as a person and taken the time and effort to atone for your misunderstanding or quarrel. Maybe it makes you look like you've let go of anger/frustration if you're using the magic word of 'sorry' and meaning it in a deep and moving way to gain acceptance and forgiveness in a selfless way and not making it all about yourself because that is no way to apologise. Make it count even if you have to beg and grovel at someone's feet. Do it to show remorse and stress the importance that you're doing it from the bottom of your heart where you feel things the deepest in the pit of your dark misunderstood soul.

I rambled on for a bit, but I'll let y'all settle for some mind-altering advice. Sit back and relax against those fluffy pillows and blankets. Slide into your favourite pair of kicks/chucks/trainers/crocs/sliders/fluffy slippers/heels. Grab a bowl of noodles to gobble. Listen loud and crystal clear:

'Be smart about how you expect a person to apologise to you. You could confront them about an issue that you've found upsetting (not that it helps a hundred percent of the time), but make sure it's a person who you consider your day 1. Getting an honest to god humble and heartfelt apology can validate you as a person and get you back on track to being the brave, important, loud/upfront confident, straightforward person you once were. A sincere apology is meant to build you up not knock your confidence down a few pegs on the ladder of being the real you in the most apologetic way that you can be. It's about being able to move on after hashing it out with another person instead of holding grudges and not liking the qualities of a person that has wronged you.'

Ooh. That was some awesome deep advice. It's about trying  to be the best version of yourself, and if you've progressed to a great place on a personal level and someone takes all that progress and rips it apart and tells you how much you've messed up and how many eggshell walking moments you've created that have a caution sign marked on your back, it really makes you question whether you're good enough for yourself and another person. It's not even about a person breathing down your neck or being on your case. It's about getting the words of deep profound apology from the bottom of someone's heart and how they treat you after that apology, cuz we all want someone to treat as as a human being that's not a perfect person, but one who has made time and effort to rebuild themselves into a strong independent person with their own strong mindset in a positive way. 

I rambled on a bit, but it's about not allowing a person to crush your spirit until you crumble into a  powerless piece of rubble. I'll give y'all some mind-blowing advice that'll make you have a deep insight into this topic a little bit more. Sit back and relax against those comfy office chairs. Slide into your go to designer suits, Grab a packet ofMini Cheddars or Animal Biscuits to munch on. Listen loud and crystal clear:

'There'll be times when your savage approach to a situation isn't appreciated and you'll get the line 'ay ay ay' which is off-putting as all hell, but it's a tactic used to put you in your place for you to be set straight and brought back to reality when you've been stupidly brave while asserting your inner voice, it gives you the chance to find your humility and apologise for being in the wrong if you are. It doesn't matter if being brave enough to call someone out makes you rude and a disappointment as a human being, but you can't crawl back into your shell after you've crossed an unwritten line in the mud, you have to acknowledge you made some sort of step in the right direction to show improvement in your actions cuz they say 'actions speak louder than words.'

OMG. This is some solid advice and I wanna do a post on the whole 'ay ay ay' thing. It's about finding t he balance in action and reaction to a person's apology for you to forget about something or in others' terms 'get over it.' It takes time and effort to get over something that has made you feel the dark depths of the waterfall of sadness to be able to find the light of positivity and happiness or the realm of calmness once again. Basically when you find it, you've gotta hold on to it tighter than a kid holding onto a balloon or kite. Everyone has some type of goodness in them you just have to figure out what type of good you wanna be. Being able to rise above all the fingers of doubt and uncertainty that get pointed at you is a challenge that you have to face in order to be a force to be reckoned with. Your crazy confident side can be used as a superpower to overcome the title of being misjudged. Learn to own up to all the flaws inside you cuz it's the biggest step to atoning for all your faults. There's a quote from a song that goes along the lines of:

'Is it too late now to say sorry?'

(Justin Bieber).

Yes, it's a cheesy cliche line, but sometimes there's the what if's? It's never too late to apologise if you really care deeply about a person and you don't wanna mess that brotherly/sisterly bond, or a parental/kid bond up, then it's better to own up to all your mistakes and apologise from a place of sincerity and learn from this long rocky road of mistakes that can be left behind in the portal of the past. I think you have to really mean the words that you say to a person to appease them until they know that you wanna right all your wrongs and be able to have a positive impact in that person's life. Really connecting with an issue and overthinking about it until you have the courage to embark upon it in a conversation with a person you trust can be a step in the right direction to apologise. 

Okay, I rambled on for ages. I'll give y'all some mind-changing/jaw-dropping advice. Sit back and relax against those silk pillows that are great for your curly hair. Slide into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/hoodies, sweatshirts, and joggers/T-Shirts and shorts, Grab a face mask to slather all over your face to get that glowing skin, and listen loud and crystal clear:

'Dig deep on the inside and figure out what you wanna say to really move a person on an emotional level so you can use the all time go to phrase like it's 'water under the bridge.' It can sound metaphorical, but to get confirmation on a person about fixing an error or situation so they can move on and never bring that situation back up when you've gotten over it on your own terms and don't hold a hateful grudge against them will free you from the sea of never ending guilt, but you have to have a certain kind of backbone if a person brings up a situation you've finally processed in your head and finally moved past it and given it the time and place to stew in your brain and shoved into the 'water under the bridge category' then you have to challenge them in a way that leads to healing and happiness instead of feeling eternal pain and distress for no apparent reason.'

Ooh, that was a hell of a lot of strong powerful advice that I'll leave y'all to chew on. I'll leave you with one last quote to over analyse. It goes along the lines of:

Forgiving a person and forgetting something is easier said than done. It takes an insane amount of willpower to actually reach deep down into your psyche and find the right words to apologise for being right or wrong about something or someone.'

(From your truly- BillyBiskit.)

OMG. This is quite original. Stay glued to your screens.

Enjoy.

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