YOUR DAY ONE'S NOT BACKING YOU UP WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHAT

 Hi Binge-watchers,

Crazy shit happens like this so many times. It turns you into a puddle of sadness or non-existent water like Wade in the Disney Movie Elemental. People need to form their own opinions about you as a person rather than agreeing with someone else about how you interact with someone. This experience strips you of your confidence and chucks it out of the window. It flushes your self-esteem out of your system and down the drain. Your day one could be anyone a friend, sibling or bro in law/sis-in-law. It shakes you to your core until you don't know how to function around that person and be comfortable being who you are in front of them with all your layers stripped back until you're the real you, A.K.A your best unfiltered self that you hid from the rest of the world. When you're in a situation where your day one doesn't have your back one hundred percent of the time in sticky situations that make you dip a toe in the whirlpool of lecturing 101, then you know they've screwed up big time. It's not you, it's them. 

Okay, I'm gonna stop rambling on and get down to the nitty-gritty bit of mind-altering advice. Sit back and relax. Grab those fluffy pillows/blankets, change into your favourite summer wear, and grab a tip top or slush, and listen loud and crystal clear:

'You have to confront the issue no matter how scared you are to lose this person. Your stomach might be in knots, but you have to put one foot forward in front of the other one and spit it out so you can nip whatever beef you have with this person in the bud. Don't be too emotional even if you've gotten a deep scar or bruise on your heart cuz this person never vouched for you in front of an older respected person, when they couldn't even give you a little bit of respect by giving their honest opinion about you to show you an ounce of respect and trust on another level. It's not worth the heartbreak.'

DAMN. That was some advice that rocked your world right? It's all the facts that count in this situation. You know you don't talk much cuz you are closed off and a vault for everyone else in your famiglia, so the big confusing question is why doesn't a person trust you to the fullest and honour you as a person and fight for you no matter what another person says to wreck your image in front of a person who you thought was your ride or die? It eats away at the darkest shadowy parts of your soul to know that you weren't good enough to be stood up for and advocated for on your behalf because this person's words affect you deeply in ways that you don't even realise that's how tight the bond is until it gets a little bit fragmented. You see the cracks and it makes you overthink everything you've shared with the person one on one as you've used their shoulder to vent on. 

O.M.G. I did it again! Rambled on and on for all of England to see. I'll give y'all some more advice now it's ground-breaking, mind-numbing stuff. Sit back and relax, grab some fluffy blankets, slip into your shorts/tees, and grab a glass of an amazing refreshing mocktail, and listen loud and crystal clear:

'Shit hits the fan every so often and we run for the hills instead of staying to figure out our next steps to see if we can move on and forgive a person. I don't think you can do that without talking it out, and opening another person's eyes on the issue. If they're your day ones they'll find a way to fix the awkward one sentences of fine and yes to the 'are you okay?' question. Sometimes people will say it's not a big deal when it is. If someone has hurt you deeply, you need to hold our head up high and open up to them.'

Trust is a huge thing. To have it shift slightly and add a little crack in it like seeing all the cracks in your walls that you build so sky high into the clouds of daydreams and make believe, because you let this person see you at your worst and then it hits you like a punch in the gut when they don't have your back in the verbal sense, which kills you slowly, until you don't wanna open up the yellowed pages of your closed off book to them. It doesn't sit right with you when a bigger person tells another person that there's something wrong with you when they don't see any flaws and they treat you like a normal special human being and then that all turns to dust and ashes when they don't say how amazing you are to another person when they're trying to tear you down and point out all your messed up qualities. 

Maybe the person was too chicken in the heat of the moment to watch your six. I'll stop chatting your ear of and give y'all some mind-blowing awesome advice. Sit back and relax. Slip into a kaftan, grab a mojito, and listen loud and crystal clear:

'Don't let it get you down. Maybe this person was agreeing with another person to take the heat off of you. You know they can see through all the bullshit and like you for you, but in that one split second you're unsure, and you need that reassurance that they're gonna have your back no matter what even when you're not 100 percent clear on it. This person always appreciated you for who you are so maybe they were just staying out of the quicksand of trouble cuz once you're in it it's hard for you to dig yourself out of it.'

You should be able to tell this person exactly how they've made you doubt yourself for a long time since the incident where they never had your back. It's not good to hold all of this on the inside. You have to let it out. You can cry about it for a second, and be okay about it after, even if you're not. That's some crap advice, but what do you do if you don't wanna tell this person about how you felt in a situation where they didn't have your back? You fight for this person to be in your corner again or on your side even if you have to die trying to win them over all over again to  be your day one. Hell, I'd walk through fire to get one more chance at having my day one have a deep convo with me about how I'm doing or any issue I'm facing. But you can't trust a person blindly, you have to stick to your instincts and see what you can do to rectify a situation between you and someone you care about deeply as a bro. 

I'm gonna stop talking like it's an Olympic Gold medal sport, and give y'all some more golden advice. Sit back and relax. Slip into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/hoodies/tees/joggers, and grab an ice-cream, and listen loud and crystal clear:

'It's an upsetting thing, so you can cry as much as you want later on when it sinks in. In the heat of the moment you don't realise what's happening. It's when you overthink and obsess about it in your own time cuz these things need to be processed in their own time. You have to question the person about it later on when you have the full confidence to trust them again.'

OOH that was short and sweet, but true in it's own form. There's this quote from Divergent that goes along the lines of:

'FEAR doesn't shut you down it WAKES you up.' 

It's not easy for someone to have your back, you have to stand on your own two feet and be able to stand up for yourself most of the time even if you've become a lot less confident than you were back in the day. You have to be honest about your emotions and ideals in these messed up situations where you don't have an army of people behind you to support you when you're 100 percent better from an illness. It's about making yourself into the best version of yourself because people can show you their true colours in the best way when they're stumped  to agree with someone if that person is stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

I'll give y'all some more valuable advice. Sit back and relax. Chug some iced coffee. Listen loud and crystal clear:

'Second chances can be earned so give the person who's earned the title of your day 1 a second chance. It'll give you time to heal and move on.'

Whoa. That's a real eye opener. I'm gonna do that. I just need to let y'all chew on that. Giving people the benefit of the doubt and just be grateful that there's someone to look out for you. That person deserves to be given a second chance to prove to you how amazing you are. They can see you in the best light if they can hear your version of events and how you've felt about it. I'll leave y'all to chew on that and let you guys soak up this amazing advice.

Stay glued to your screens.

ENJOY.

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